A guy gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where the Hell have you been?"

"I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my dick."

"What the Hell are you thinking? Why did you get a hundred dollar bill on your dick?"

"Well, number one, I like to watch my money grow. Number two, once in a while, I like to play with my money. And lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay home to blow a hundred bucks."